The Twilight Zone
Space Craze of the 1960's
July 03, 2010
by David Krell
david@davidkrell.com
NASA’s Golden Age of Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo during the 1960’s inspired television decision makers to use space as a theme.
I Dream of Jeannie featured Larry Hagman as Tony Nelson, an astronaut in the starring male role. Several scenes featured Captain (later Major) Nelson’s job responsibilities at Cape Canaveral, known as Cape Kennedy from 1963 to 1973. Nelson lived in a small house in Cocoa Beach with Jeannie, a beautiful blonde genie played by Barbara Eden who couldn’t stop herself form trying to help her master. Nelson met Jeannie after his space capsule splashed down and he washed up on the beach. He found her bottle, opened it, and out came Jeannie. He rescued her and she served him as payback. Eventually, they married.
Set in the future, Star Trek explored worlds, universes, and planets. The U.S.S. Enterprise went where no man had gone before. Essentially Wagon Train in space, Star Trek showcased the adventures of the Enterprise staff. The episodes were often allegories about peace, war, brotherhood, and racism.
Lost In Space showed us a space launch gone awry. A space takeoff on Swiss Family Robinson, Lost In Space depicted weekly adventures of the Robinson family on strange planets. Initially, the Robinsons’ mission is to colonize space for the United States. A foreign agent, Dr. Zachary Smith, caused the Robinson’s space craft to malfunction. His efforts backfire as he can’t leave the space craft before it launches. Smith becomes the comic relief, foil, and wacky neighbor character.
The Twilight Zone had episodes with a space theme. The Little People tells a lesson about bullying.
Astronauts William Fletcher and Peter Craig encounter a malfunction with their space ship, so they land on a planet to make repairs. Craig discovers an area inhabited by people who are the size of ants. He destroys their property and declares himself their god. He forces them to build a statue of him. Fletcher finishes repairing the space craft but Craig wants to stay. You reap what you sow. Two giant explorers from another planet are repairing their ship. One accidentally kills Craig. The “little people”are ecstatic and they bring the statue down.
david@davidkrell.com
NASA’s Golden Age of Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo during the 1960’s inspired television decision makers to use space as a theme.
I Dream of Jeannie featured Larry Hagman as Tony Nelson, an astronaut in the starring male role. Several scenes featured Captain (later Major) Nelson’s job responsibilities at Cape Canaveral, known as Cape Kennedy from 1963 to 1973. Nelson lived in a small house in Cocoa Beach with Jeannie, a beautiful blonde genie played by Barbara Eden who couldn’t stop herself form trying to help her master. Nelson met Jeannie after his space capsule splashed down and he washed up on the beach. He found her bottle, opened it, and out came Jeannie. He rescued her and she served him as payback. Eventually, they married.
Set in the future, Star Trek explored worlds, universes, and planets. The U.S.S. Enterprise went where no man had gone before. Essentially Wagon Train in space, Star Trek showcased the adventures of the Enterprise staff. The episodes were often allegories about peace, war, brotherhood, and racism.
Lost In Space showed us a space launch gone awry. A space takeoff on Swiss Family Robinson, Lost In Space depicted weekly adventures of the Robinson family on strange planets. Initially, the Robinsons’ mission is to colonize space for the United States. A foreign agent, Dr. Zachary Smith, caused the Robinson’s space craft to malfunction. His efforts backfire as he can’t leave the space craft before it launches. Smith becomes the comic relief, foil, and wacky neighbor character.
The Twilight Zone had episodes with a space theme. The Little People tells a lesson about bullying.
Astronauts William Fletcher and Peter Craig encounter a malfunction with their space ship, so they land on a planet to make repairs. Craig discovers an area inhabited by people who are the size of ants. He destroys their property and declares himself their god. He forces them to build a statue of him. Fletcher finishes repairing the space craft but Craig wants to stay. You reap what you sow. Two giant explorers from another planet are repairing their ship. One accidentally kills Craig. The “little people”are ecstatic and they bring the statue down.
Bob Crane
April 05, 2010
by David Krell
david@davidkrell.com
Most of us know Bob Crane as the actor who played Colonel Robert Hogan in Hogan’s Heroes, a kind of Mission: Impossible set in a POW camp in Germany during World War II.
Some of us know Bob Crane as a darker figure in his private life. The 2002 movie Auto Focus explores this area.
Bob Crane began his career as a disc jockey. He made his way to the West Coast where he starred in his own radio show in morning drive time on KNX in Los Angeles. Crane branched out into television. His resume includes guest appearances on The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Twilight Zone.
He increased his exposure with a regular role on The Donna Reed Show.
And in 1965, Crane got his big break when he was cast as the lead role in Hogan’s Heroes.
During the run of Hogan’s Heroes, Crane met John Henry Carpenter, a video expert from Sony. Fascinated by the new technology of the VCR only available to the elite in the 1960’s, Crane formed a friendship with Carpenter. The video salesman introduced the television star to a world of underground sex. Crane frequently photographed and videotaped his bedmates.
The Murder of Bob Crane by Robert Graysmith details Crane’s biography and his murder that took place on June 29, 1978 in Scottsdale, Arizone where Crane was performing in a dinner theatre production of Beginner’s Luck.
Paul Schrader directed Auto Focus based on Graysmith’s book.
In Auto Focus Greg Kinnear plays Bob Crane. Kinnear’s dramatic portrayal of a television icon reveals a private side of Bob Crane that the public never knew about when he was alive.
Crane was bludgeoned to death in his sleep. Allegedly, on the night that he was killed, Crane told Carpenter that he wanted a new life. No more parties or anonymous women. The friendship was over.
DNA testing did not exist in 1978. But Carpenter was arrested and indicted on murder charges in 1992. He was acquitted in 1994. He died in 1998.
The murder of Bob Crane remains an unsolved case.
Bob Crane’s story is one of a gradual but inevitable rise to television icon status that he could never recapture after Hogan’s Heroes ended.
But it is also a story of sadness.
david@davidkrell.com
Most of us know Bob Crane as the actor who played Colonel Robert Hogan in Hogan’s Heroes, a kind of Mission: Impossible set in a POW camp in Germany during World War II.
Some of us know Bob Crane as a darker figure in his private life. The 2002 movie Auto Focus explores this area.
Bob Crane began his career as a disc jockey. He made his way to the West Coast where he starred in his own radio show in morning drive time on KNX in Los Angeles. Crane branched out into television. His resume includes guest appearances on The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Twilight Zone.
He increased his exposure with a regular role on The Donna Reed Show.
And in 1965, Crane got his big break when he was cast as the lead role in Hogan’s Heroes.
During the run of Hogan’s Heroes, Crane met John Henry Carpenter, a video expert from Sony. Fascinated by the new technology of the VCR only available to the elite in the 1960’s, Crane formed a friendship with Carpenter. The video salesman introduced the television star to a world of underground sex. Crane frequently photographed and videotaped his bedmates.
The Murder of Bob Crane by Robert Graysmith details Crane’s biography and his murder that took place on June 29, 1978 in Scottsdale, Arizone where Crane was performing in a dinner theatre production of Beginner’s Luck.
Paul Schrader directed Auto Focus based on Graysmith’s book.
In Auto Focus Greg Kinnear plays Bob Crane. Kinnear’s dramatic portrayal of a television icon reveals a private side of Bob Crane that the public never knew about when he was alive.
Crane was bludgeoned to death in his sleep. Allegedly, on the night that he was killed, Crane told Carpenter that he wanted a new life. No more parties or anonymous women. The friendship was over.
DNA testing did not exist in 1978. But Carpenter was arrested and indicted on murder charges in 1992. He was acquitted in 1994. He died in 1998.
The murder of Bob Crane remains an unsolved case.
Bob Crane’s story is one of a gradual but inevitable rise to television icon status that he could never recapture after Hogan’s Heroes ended.
But it is also a story of sadness.
The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book
October 23, 2009
by David Krell
david@davidkrell.com
From 1961 to 1966, America watched the adventures and misadventures of a television comedy writer at work and at home.
The Dick Van Dyke Show broke ground as the first sitcom to regularly show the father’s workplace as a significant part of the show. The workplace was the writers’ room for The Alan Brady Show. It also provided a rich source for story lines.
In 1994, Vince Waldron wrote the definitive book about the program -- The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book.
It’s a terrific resource.
The episode guide has the following information -- episode titles, air dates, guest stars and their respective characters, writers, directors, and story synopses.
In addition, Waldron details Carl Reiner’s pilot -- Head of the Family. It was the progenitor of The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Head of the Family aired on CBS on July 19, 1960 with Carl Reiner in the lead role of Rob Petrie.
Reiner tweaked his creation and it became The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Waldron also plunges into other parts of the show’s history.
The casting of Mary Tyler Moore as Laura Petrie.
The brink of cancellation because of sponsor Procter & Gamble almost pulling its sponsorship.
The effect of the John Kennedy assassination on the show’s production schedule, not to mention the emotions of the cast and production staff.
Waldron also describes the background, history, and production of key episodes. One example is It May Look Like A Walnut, a takeoff on The Twilight Zone.
The Dick Van Dyke Show was successful largely because of Carl Reiner’s devotion to reality. In the chapter Playing To An Empty House, writer Jerry Belson tells Waldron about Reiner’s commitment to finding realies.
He was always saying, “We need more realies! Give me more realies!” Carl would ask us, “How do you use that rubber thing on the end of a toothbrush? Well, put that in the show!” Carl didn’t care about funny, he wanted realies. If you sat down with Carl, instead of saying, “What’s funny?” he would sit you down and say, “Okay, what happened to you this week? What’d you fight with your wife about?” And those things that happened to you were the realies that Carl wanted. And so we were always searching for more realies.
The Dick Van Dyke Show aired 158 episodes in black and white. Was color given serious thought? Waldron explains in a footnote in the chapter Curtain Calls.
Although Reiner chose not to heed his executive producer’s [Sheldon Leonard] advice to keep the series on the air, Reiner insists that both he and Sheldon Leonard had given serious thought to filming The Dick Van Dyke Show in color as early as the show’s third season. But, says Reiner, the plan was quickly abandoned as soon as they discovered that filming the show in the more expensive color process would have added about seven thousand dollars to their weekly budget. “It didn’t seem to make any sense at the time,” explains the producer. “There was no big argument. It was like, ‘What do we do? It’ll cost us seven thousand dollars a week more to go to color.’ ‘Oh. Well, in that case, let’s not.’”
For a fan of television sitcoms in general and The Dick Van Dyke Show in particular, The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book by Vince Waldron is a fine addition to the bookshelf.
david@davidkrell.com
From 1961 to 1966, America watched the adventures and misadventures of a television comedy writer at work and at home.
The Dick Van Dyke Show broke ground as the first sitcom to regularly show the father’s workplace as a significant part of the show. The workplace was the writers’ room for The Alan Brady Show. It also provided a rich source for story lines.
In 1994, Vince Waldron wrote the definitive book about the program -- The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book.
It’s a terrific resource.
The episode guide has the following information -- episode titles, air dates, guest stars and their respective characters, writers, directors, and story synopses.
In addition, Waldron details Carl Reiner’s pilot -- Head of the Family. It was the progenitor of The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Head of the Family aired on CBS on July 19, 1960 with Carl Reiner in the lead role of Rob Petrie.
Reiner tweaked his creation and it became The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Waldron also plunges into other parts of the show’s history.
The casting of Mary Tyler Moore as Laura Petrie.
The brink of cancellation because of sponsor Procter & Gamble almost pulling its sponsorship.
The effect of the John Kennedy assassination on the show’s production schedule, not to mention the emotions of the cast and production staff.
Waldron also describes the background, history, and production of key episodes. One example is It May Look Like A Walnut, a takeoff on The Twilight Zone.
The Dick Van Dyke Show was successful largely because of Carl Reiner’s devotion to reality. In the chapter Playing To An Empty House, writer Jerry Belson tells Waldron about Reiner’s commitment to finding realies.
He was always saying, “We need more realies! Give me more realies!” Carl would ask us, “How do you use that rubber thing on the end of a toothbrush? Well, put that in the show!” Carl didn’t care about funny, he wanted realies. If you sat down with Carl, instead of saying, “What’s funny?” he would sit you down and say, “Okay, what happened to you this week? What’d you fight with your wife about?” And those things that happened to you were the realies that Carl wanted. And so we were always searching for more realies.
The Dick Van Dyke Show aired 158 episodes in black and white. Was color given serious thought? Waldron explains in a footnote in the chapter Curtain Calls.
Although Reiner chose not to heed his executive producer’s [Sheldon Leonard] advice to keep the series on the air, Reiner insists that both he and Sheldon Leonard had given serious thought to filming The Dick Van Dyke Show in color as early as the show’s third season. But, says Reiner, the plan was quickly abandoned as soon as they discovered that filming the show in the more expensive color process would have added about seven thousand dollars to their weekly budget. “It didn’t seem to make any sense at the time,” explains the producer. “There was no big argument. It was like, ‘What do we do? It’ll cost us seven thousand dollars a week more to go to color.’ ‘Oh. Well, in that case, let’s not.’”
For a fan of television sitcoms in general and The Dick Van Dyke Show in particular, The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book by Vince Waldron is a fine addition to the bookshelf.
Elvis
October 01, 2009
by David Krell
david@davidkrell.com
Elvis.
More than thirty years have passed since he went to rock and roll heaven in 1977.
And just the mere mention of his name opens a lockbox of tremendous memories.
His movements.
His movies.
His portrayals.
Elvis Presley moved on stage like no other performer before him, swiveling his hips to the delight of teenage girls, the jealousy of their boyfriends, and the fright of their parents.
Elvis’ movies may have been formulaic.
Sing a few songs. Charm a few girls. Win the heart of the female lead.
But he surrounded himself with veteran actors who shouldered the load. In lesser hands, the movies would have been unwatchable instead of simply enjoyable.
Angela Lansbury in Blue Hawaii.
Gary Merrill and James Gregory in Clambake.
Gale Gordon and William Schallert in Speedway.
Portrayals of Elvis on television also add to the King’s legacy by interpreting, explaining, and depicting certain aspects of his life.
Okay. So you may not remember some of them. But they deserve a second look, if for no other reason than a sense of completion in looking at Elvis’ career.
We’ve all seen the black and white footage of Elvis dancing and singing Jailhouse Rock in the 1957 movie of the same name, a precursor to the dance videos that would appear during the early days of MTV twenty-five years later.
But did you see Elvis and the Colonel, a 1993 tv-movie starring Rob Youngblood as Elvis and Beau Bridges as Colonel Tom Parker, the manager and mastermind behind a highly significant part of Elvis' career?
How about Elvis and the Beauty Queen, a 1981 tv-movie starring Stephanie Zimbalist as the King's girlfriend, Linda Thompson, and Don Johnson as Elvis? Zimbalist and Johnson made terrific contributions to NBC's revival as a television network powerhouse in the 1980's. She starred in Remington Steele and he made pastels fashionable in Miami Vice.
In 1988, Dale Midkiff portrayed Elvis in Elvis and Me, a four-hour miniseries told from wife Priscilla Presley's point of view. It was based on the book of the same name that Priscilla wrote with Sandra Harmon.
In 2005, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers played Elvis in another four-hour miniseries simply titled Elvis.
Michael St. Gerard filled the shoes of a young Elvis when he played the aspiring King of Rock and Roll on the cusp of breaking into the record business. Elvis was an ABC television series that showed the rarely explored early years of Elvis Presley. The show had a brief run in 1990.
St. Gerard's portrayal was not limited to the small screen, however. He played Elvis in a non-speaking role in the 1988 Jerry Lee Lewis biopic Great Balls of Fire.
But the one that started it all was a two-and-a-half tv-movie that aired on February 11, 1979, just two-and-a-half years after the King's death. Kurt Russell starred in Elvis, a highly anticipated tv-movie. Produced by Dick Clark Productions, Elvis captured the imagination of fans still reeling from the King's death on August 16, 1977. John Carpenter directed Elvis. Coincidentally, Elvis' character in the movie Change of Habit was named John Carpenter.
Kurt Russell actually appeared in one of Elvis' movies. In It Happened at the World's Fair, he kicks Elvis in the shins. But the connection between the two men do not end there. In the movie 3000 Miles to Graceland, Kurt Russell plays an Elvis impersonator.
Finally, the 1980's revival of The Twilight Zone gave a twist on Elvis' life, legacy, and allure. In the episode The Once and Future King, an Elvis fanatic and impersonator named Gary has an agent named Sandra. She tells him that she met Elvis during one of his Las Vegas stints when she was 18. After avoiding an accident, Gary somehow travels back in time and meets Elvis in 1954 Memphis. The meeting happens right before Elvis is supposed to record That's All Right, Mama, also known as That's All Right, his initial record.
Elvis believes that Gary is really Jesse Aron Presley or a reincarnation of him. Jesse was Elvis' twin brother who died at birth. When Gary tells Elvis about That's All Right, Mama and the massive success awaiting him, Elvis is simply not interested. He thinks the music that Gary plays is the devil's music. When argument between Gary and Elvis escalates to a violent level, Elvis dies in the fight.
There's only one way out for Gary. Become Elvis. Gary buries him and assumes his identity.
Confession time occurs at the end of the episode set some time during the early 1970's in Las Vegas. Elvis is talking to a groupie. He reveals that he tried to perform the songs and acting roles as closely as he could remember from the original Elvis.
The groupie is Sandra, Gary's agent in his previous life.
The meeting takes place just as she described earlier with Elvis talking for hours and showing signs of paranoia. Only this time, she met with Gary.
Or was it really Elvis?
david@davidkrell.com
Elvis.
More than thirty years have passed since he went to rock and roll heaven in 1977.
And just the mere mention of his name opens a lockbox of tremendous memories.
His movements.
His movies.
His portrayals.
Elvis Presley moved on stage like no other performer before him, swiveling his hips to the delight of teenage girls, the jealousy of their boyfriends, and the fright of their parents.
Elvis’ movies may have been formulaic.
Sing a few songs. Charm a few girls. Win the heart of the female lead.
But he surrounded himself with veteran actors who shouldered the load. In lesser hands, the movies would have been unwatchable instead of simply enjoyable.
Angela Lansbury in Blue Hawaii.
Gary Merrill and James Gregory in Clambake.
Gale Gordon and William Schallert in Speedway.
Portrayals of Elvis on television also add to the King’s legacy by interpreting, explaining, and depicting certain aspects of his life.
Okay. So you may not remember some of them. But they deserve a second look, if for no other reason than a sense of completion in looking at Elvis’ career.
We’ve all seen the black and white footage of Elvis dancing and singing Jailhouse Rock in the 1957 movie of the same name, a precursor to the dance videos that would appear during the early days of MTV twenty-five years later.
But did you see Elvis and the Colonel, a 1993 tv-movie starring Rob Youngblood as Elvis and Beau Bridges as Colonel Tom Parker, the manager and mastermind behind a highly significant part of Elvis' career?
How about Elvis and the Beauty Queen, a 1981 tv-movie starring Stephanie Zimbalist as the King's girlfriend, Linda Thompson, and Don Johnson as Elvis? Zimbalist and Johnson made terrific contributions to NBC's revival as a television network powerhouse in the 1980's. She starred in Remington Steele and he made pastels fashionable in Miami Vice.
In 1988, Dale Midkiff portrayed Elvis in Elvis and Me, a four-hour miniseries told from wife Priscilla Presley's point of view. It was based on the book of the same name that Priscilla wrote with Sandra Harmon.
In 2005, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers played Elvis in another four-hour miniseries simply titled Elvis.
Michael St. Gerard filled the shoes of a young Elvis when he played the aspiring King of Rock and Roll on the cusp of breaking into the record business. Elvis was an ABC television series that showed the rarely explored early years of Elvis Presley. The show had a brief run in 1990.
St. Gerard's portrayal was not limited to the small screen, however. He played Elvis in a non-speaking role in the 1988 Jerry Lee Lewis biopic Great Balls of Fire.
But the one that started it all was a two-and-a-half tv-movie that aired on February 11, 1979, just two-and-a-half years after the King's death. Kurt Russell starred in Elvis, a highly anticipated tv-movie. Produced by Dick Clark Productions, Elvis captured the imagination of fans still reeling from the King's death on August 16, 1977. John Carpenter directed Elvis. Coincidentally, Elvis' character in the movie Change of Habit was named John Carpenter.
Kurt Russell actually appeared in one of Elvis' movies. In It Happened at the World's Fair, he kicks Elvis in the shins. But the connection between the two men do not end there. In the movie 3000 Miles to Graceland, Kurt Russell plays an Elvis impersonator.
Finally, the 1980's revival of The Twilight Zone gave a twist on Elvis' life, legacy, and allure. In the episode The Once and Future King, an Elvis fanatic and impersonator named Gary has an agent named Sandra. She tells him that she met Elvis during one of his Las Vegas stints when she was 18. After avoiding an accident, Gary somehow travels back in time and meets Elvis in 1954 Memphis. The meeting happens right before Elvis is supposed to record That's All Right, Mama, also known as That's All Right, his initial record.
Elvis believes that Gary is really Jesse Aron Presley or a reincarnation of him. Jesse was Elvis' twin brother who died at birth. When Gary tells Elvis about That's All Right, Mama and the massive success awaiting him, Elvis is simply not interested. He thinks the music that Gary plays is the devil's music. When argument between Gary and Elvis escalates to a violent level, Elvis dies in the fight.
There's only one way out for Gary. Become Elvis. Gary buries him and assumes his identity.
Confession time occurs at the end of the episode set some time during the early 1970's in Las Vegas. Elvis is talking to a groupie. He reveals that he tried to perform the songs and acting roles as closely as he could remember from the original Elvis.
The groupie is Sandra, Gary's agent in his previous life.
The meeting takes place just as she described earlier with Elvis talking for hours and showing signs of paranoia. Only this time, she met with Gary.
Or was it really Elvis?
The Ultimate TV Network
July 21, 2009
by David Krell
david@davidkrell.com
If I created the ultimate television network, the prime time program lineup would probably look like this:
On Sunday, I would start with the legends. I Love Lucy at 8:00pm followed by The Jack Benny Program at 8:30pm.
The pairing makes sense since Lucille Ball and Jack Benny were not only show business icons, but also neighbors in real life. They lived next door to each other on North Roxbury Drive in Beverly Hills.
Then, we turn to the rural heavyweights. The Andy Griffith Show at 9:00pm and The Beverly Hillbillies at 9:30pm.
Sunday nights should be nice and easy, after all. And what's nicer and easier than our friends in Mayberry and the hillbilly transplants to the land of Rodeo Drive?
At 10:00pm, The Sopranos.
On Monday nights, I would pair The Dick Van Dyke Show and Mary Tyler Moore in the 8 o'clock hour, followed by M*A*S*H and Murphy Brown in the 9 o'clock hour.
At 10:00pm, St. Elsewhere.
Tuesday nights would start with family comedy. The Cosby Show and Family Ties 8:00pm and 8:30pm respectively.
Everybody Loves Raymond at 9:00pm and Two and a Half Men at 9:30pm.
At 10:00pm, Law & Order.
Wednesday nights would start with sophistication.
Frasier at 8:00pm and The Odd Couple at 8:30pm. I'm sure Felix Unger would have enjoyed talking wine, opera, and art with the Crane brothers.
The 9 o'clock hour would consist of You'll Never Get Rich starring Phil Silvers as Sergeant Bilko and The Twilight Zone.
At 10:00pm, Hill Street Blues.
Of course, Thursday nights would truly be Must See TV with Cheers, Taxi, Seinfeld, and Friends followed by ER at 10:00pm.
Friday night would be another family-friendly night, starting with The Brady Bunch at 8:00pm and The Wonder Years at 8:30pm.
At 9:00pm, Friday Night Lights, a depiction of a west Texas town obsessed with high school football.
At 10:00pm, The Wire.
Saturday night begins with cartoons.
The Simpsons at 8:00pm and King of the Hill at 8:30pm.
The Honeymooners at 9:00pm and Curb Your Enthusiasm at 9:30pm.
At 10:00pm, Homicide: Life on the Street, an undervalued, underrated, and underwatched program during its tenure on NBC in the 1990's.
Reasonable minds can differ.
Should Happy Days be in the lineup instead of The Brady Bunch?
What about L.A. Law, thirtysomething, Scrubs, or All in the Family?
What's the standard for making the linuep?
All good questions.
For now, it's merely instinctive.
Programs can be replaced.
Or I can start another network.
david@davidkrell.com
If I created the ultimate television network, the prime time program lineup would probably look like this:
On Sunday, I would start with the legends. I Love Lucy at 8:00pm followed by The Jack Benny Program at 8:30pm.
The pairing makes sense since Lucille Ball and Jack Benny were not only show business icons, but also neighbors in real life. They lived next door to each other on North Roxbury Drive in Beverly Hills.
Then, we turn to the rural heavyweights. The Andy Griffith Show at 9:00pm and The Beverly Hillbillies at 9:30pm.
Sunday nights should be nice and easy, after all. And what's nicer and easier than our friends in Mayberry and the hillbilly transplants to the land of Rodeo Drive?
At 10:00pm, The Sopranos.
On Monday nights, I would pair The Dick Van Dyke Show and Mary Tyler Moore in the 8 o'clock hour, followed by M*A*S*H and Murphy Brown in the 9 o'clock hour.
At 10:00pm, St. Elsewhere.
Tuesday nights would start with family comedy. The Cosby Show and Family Ties 8:00pm and 8:30pm respectively.
Everybody Loves Raymond at 9:00pm and Two and a Half Men at 9:30pm.
At 10:00pm, Law & Order.
Wednesday nights would start with sophistication.
Frasier at 8:00pm and The Odd Couple at 8:30pm. I'm sure Felix Unger would have enjoyed talking wine, opera, and art with the Crane brothers.
The 9 o'clock hour would consist of You'll Never Get Rich starring Phil Silvers as Sergeant Bilko and The Twilight Zone.
At 10:00pm, Hill Street Blues.
Of course, Thursday nights would truly be Must See TV with Cheers, Taxi, Seinfeld, and Friends followed by ER at 10:00pm.
Friday night would be another family-friendly night, starting with The Brady Bunch at 8:00pm and The Wonder Years at 8:30pm.
At 9:00pm, Friday Night Lights, a depiction of a west Texas town obsessed with high school football.
At 10:00pm, The Wire.
Saturday night begins with cartoons.
The Simpsons at 8:00pm and King of the Hill at 8:30pm.
The Honeymooners at 9:00pm and Curb Your Enthusiasm at 9:30pm.
At 10:00pm, Homicide: Life on the Street, an undervalued, underrated, and underwatched program during its tenure on NBC in the 1990's.
Reasonable minds can differ.
Should Happy Days be in the lineup instead of The Brady Bunch?
What about L.A. Law, thirtysomething, Scrubs, or All in the Family?
What's the standard for making the linuep?
All good questions.
For now, it's merely instinctive.
Programs can be replaced.
Or I can start another network.